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That Moment When

Pepa went to be with Jesus two months before our boy was born, but I still think I see him from time to time.  When it happens, my heart thumps into sudden, rapid rhythm and I am powerfully drawn, the longing for his hug, his smile, his familiar chuckle of approval so intense that my eyes begin to tear.

Taking a step and craning my neck for a better look, I know I’m being ridiculous. I know that Pepa is gone, but I still hope.  Inevitably, the handsome stranger turns, revealing a profile that’s not quite right, a receding hairline that Pepa never had, eyes that lack his mischievous twinkle, and in those moments, I mourn one of the sweetest men that I will ever know all over again.

I think I see Jesus sometimes, too.

When a father disciplines his child with love and restraint, when a young man extends grace to adults who suspect and mistreat him, when a woman truly forgives and forgets, when a girl gives up her place in the social circle to befriend someone who has been left out…when things like this happen, my soul lifts.  My heartbeat quickens.

It’s Him!  It’s Jesus, loving on people through His faithful ones, and in those moments I rejoice in the fact that my Savior lives all over again!!

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