I am not a roller coaster girl! Some people live for the thrill of riding them. Not me. I do enjoy the initial tickle in my belly and the pounding of my heart. I don’t even mind the strange urge to laugh and scream at the same time on the first drop, but that’s where the happiness ends for me. I hate the feeling of being out of control.
There are a few roller coasters I will ride, though. I actually like the Wildfire at Silver Dollar City. Maybe it’s because I can see the whole thing from the railing, or maybe it’s because the ride is smooth and the heavy metal harnesses fasten tightly with a very loud click. Then again, maybe I like it because no one, to my knowledge (and please don’t correct me if I’m wrong!), has ever fallen from it to their untimely death.
Yep, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure that’s why I like it.
The Wildfire is safe, at least in my estimation, safe and familiar. I know where the dips and twists are. I know where it speeds up and slows down. I even know where to smile for the camera. I own the hoodie, for goodness sake! Given the chance to ride the Wildfire again, I will say “yes” without reservation.
I thought about the Wildfire this morning during my quiet time. There I was, reading through Galatians, minding my own business, when the Lord began to talk to me, not in a casual, “Let’s chat” kind of way, but in a tummy tickling, “Are you ready for this?” kind of way that caused my heart to pound a little. It’s the kind of thing I pray for, hope for, yearn for more than anything else.
It was awesome!
So, what did I do? How did I respond? I shut my Bible and stopped praying. I stopped listening. I reminded myself that I had a bed to make, makeup to put on, and a teenage son to wake (I’m good at making lists when I need to), but the truth is I was scared, scared to hear what God had to say, scared that it would be too big for me to process, scared that it would be too much for me to handle on my own.
And, of course, it always is. At some point, though, we (meaning me) must learn to rest in the fact that God loves us and is in complete control even when we are not. Though we may not be able to see all the twists and turns and dips that lie ahead, we can let go and walk in faith, knowing that nothing comes into our lives unless He allows it. We can feel confident in the fact that His grace is sufficient.
I wish I could tell you that I immediately prayed, confessed my lack of faith, and felt better about everything or that I reopened my Bible, at least.
I wish I could.
After all, what the Lord has in mind for me may not be big, awful, or scary at all. It could be something happy and exciting, something that I would choose for myself. Actually, I think that it is, but I could always be wrong. What He has in mind could be the kind of long and difficult ride that draws a large Facebook following and stirs prayer warriors to action, and that’s why it’s taken me an entire day to come to a place of peace and surrender.
I don’t know what lies ahead. The ride ahead may or may not be a smooth one, but I know this. My Heavenly Father is big and strong and holds me firmly in His grip. He has never let me fall.
Will I join Him on this ride, whatever it is? “Yes,” without reservation.